Confession: I have a four-year degree in visual arts. But I’m really a language person. I always have been.
Hence the whole author thing. Makes sense, right? And yet I graduated from a rigorous studio art program.
Look — I’m suggestible, I love working with my hands, and I have a deeply ingrained work ethic (strong Protestant/German roots, perfectionism in family of origin, etc. etc. etc.). I could’ve ended up in any college degree program (ADHD), but I was drawn to the intense discipline, practice, and critique I found in the fine arts department.
It was a rigorous program with a lot of talented young people. I worked my ass off to feel like I belonged there. I learned a lot. Approaching twenty years later, I still feel like I use my degree every single day.
Even though I am not a visual/spatial thinker. At all. You know how some people can picture things in their mind’s eye? I can’t do that. I think in words and sounds.
“Why were you not a music or writing major?” A savvy reader might ask.
I’ve asked myself this question a lot. My theories — I won’t call them answers, there’s nothing as satisfying as that to be found here — are fit for their own blog post.
At least I’m here now, right?
Anyway, that is how I find myself buying a book about how to doodle. I’ve always, always wanted to be one of those people who can sketchnote or do cute doodles in their journal.
Professional sketchnoters will insist you don’t need to be An Artist to do this, but I think they underestimate the weight of having some level of visual sensibility. In fact, I think it’s best for me to avoid cute doodling as a goal. I’ve been to this rodeo before, and it can be demoralizing in a way I do not need at the moment (or ever, if I’m feeling generous).
Enter this German doodling book. I’m finally taking the plunge and learning the language, and I thought this doodle book would provide some fun vocabulary practice. The doodling itself is a bonus.
Interestingly, even in this small example, I can see my natural tendencies shine: learning a new language gives me that rush of dopamine, the “a-ha” moment when the invisible structure behind something becomes clear. When it starts to feel natural. When I can hit moments of that intoxicating “flow state.”
Doodling? This is not the first time I’ve tried to learn it. And every time, it feels like work. Don’t get me wrong, I love work. But that magic, sparkly, release-the-delightful-brain-chemicals moment? Still waiting on it with the doodling.
However, taking the pressure off the visual side and making it about the language has made it a lot more fun. That counts for something, too.
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